The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn...

I just finished watching one of my all-time favorite movies: Moulin Rouge. I've been wanting to watch it for weeks and today I finally had a little bit of time so while I was doing my physiology labs, I stuck it in to play in the background. I can't even begin to describe how much I love it. It makes me bawl everytime. I really wish the world had more love in it and people who are as loving and giving as Christian. And why the heck can't life be more filled with music? I can't think of anything more perfect, music beginning where words fail. It gets the message across so much better and it's so much more emotionally involving which I really think a lot more people need in their lives. Plus it's an excuse to sing all the time! I know the ending of that movie is super sad, but the message it gives is a beautiful one. The greatest thing you will ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return. And it can indeed last forever.

Epic Weekend!

So this weekend was indeed so much better than this whole week. A lot of stress has been taken off of my shoulders because I don't have to worry about Microbiology anymore and just thinking about how I need to improve some of the things I have been doing, it's been a very enlightening few days. It's amazing to discover new things about yourself almost everyday.
So Friday was fantastic. I sang the national anthem at one of the SWAC games with a few of my fellow ambassadors and I feel like we did really well considering we put together a 4 part version of the song that morning and not all of us are avid singers. It was a really neat opportunity. Then, the testing center was having some difficulties so my physiology exam got postponed until Monday! Best news ever!! That evening was phemonenal!! I went with my good friend V2 up north to see the latest Tim Burton movie, Alice in Wonderland. It was SO GOOD!! I can't even describe how amazing it was! I absolutely loved it!! Tim Burton has done it again! Blown the population away with his mad movie skills and ability to capture the imagination. I cannot wait to go see it again and I highly recommend it to everyone! The acting was phemonenal, the speical effects were amazing and the twist on the story was incredible. We didn't get home until super late, but it was so worth it. Saturday was so fun as well. I spent the morning relaxing and catching up on some school things as well as cleaning around the house. Early afternoon I went to hang out with one of my best friends, Rach. We went shopping, then up to take care of her horse and then prepared for the party that was to take place later that night. We were having a late birthday celebration for myself and K-Dub. We began out the night with dinner with some of our good friends at Winger's. We spent nearly three hours there just enjoying each other's company and having a good time. We then proceeded to continue the evening's festivites with a mock-tail party at Rach's house. It was super fun! We mostly just visited and had a good time. One of the highlights of the night however was when we heard the fantastic news that CEU won their basketball game, making them the 2010 SWAC Champions!! I am so proud of our boys!! And what a great thing for CEU!! It was so great to spend the time with my best friends and get to celebrate my birthday (even though it was almost a month ago. haha.) with my best friend K-Dub. I couldn't have asked for better company. All in all, it's been a great two days. Now if I can make it through this next week, an epic journey awaits over spring break!

FN out! :D

What a week...

Have you ever had one of those weeks were absolutely nothing went right? If there was something that could go wrong, it did? That is what this week has been for me. I kept trying to think that it wasn't that bad when it was happening, but as I look back now, it was indeed that bad. I have never been so sick in all my life. It's amazing the things that stress does to the body. I've had stress sicknesses before, but never quite this bad. My appetite is gone and I've lost 10 pounds since Monday. That's four days. Not healthy. My main fear has been dehydration, so I've been pounding down the gatorade and that's probably what has saved me. What the heck, I'll just start from the beginning and share all the gory details!
Monday-started out like any other. Besides that it was K-Dub's B-DAY! Whoo! Got up early, went to the gym. Tummy wasn't feeling too good, kind of nauseated, tied up in knots. Thought it would go away, but it just got worse. Had a glass of sprite for breakfast to calm it down. It didn't work. Nauseated all day long, didn't dare eat lunch because I felt so sick and spent half the afternoon ready to bolt to the nearest container to dry heave in. Ugh. Napped for awhile, went to Rach's house to hang for a bit and had more sprite. Did not sleep well.
Tuesday-woke up feeling totally fatigued and weak. Still a little nauseated, but not as bad, more sprite and a banana for breakfast. Spent every spare moment of the morning studying for my dreaded microbiology exam that was to take place that afternoon. Didn't dare eat lunch, still feeling ill, decided to brave the test at 1 PM. Test went horribly. I couldn't remember a thing I had learned and had a minor freak out in the middle and ended up giving up on the stupid test without answering half the questions. Ouch. Went home and went to bed to try and sleep off the upsets. Ended up watching Beauty and the Beast (best Disney movie EVER!) and tried to look online to see what else needed to be done for my online class before Friday. Feeling a teensy bit better, thinking of hitting the sack early and BAM! my computer is overinfested with malware. MALWARE!!! ARGH!! Having already had a hard day, that did me in. I sat and cried over the stupid infestation before I finally managed to text K-Dub for advice. Luckily he could tell I needed help and came over to save the day and my computer.
Wednesday-as if the week couldn't get any worse. Still feeling a little fatigued, but ok. Went to the gym decided to weigh myself for fun and saw that I had lost six pounds since my last weigh in on Monday. And then only lasted twenty minutes before I had to make my first of about a million trips to the bathroom to be sick. Every twenty minutes until I finally could take some meds at 11:30 AM I visited the porcelain throne and who knew you could hold that much of anything?? Anyway, slept until my two thirty class and braved leaving the house again. Luckily I didn't have any more episodes until much later. After my two afternoon classes, I broke down and called my mom. I ended up going to my parent's house for the evening because my older brother was in Price for the day and my dad was going to help me with my taxes. Had two pieces of toast for dinner and managed to hold them down for awhile. My dad and brother gave me a priesthood blessing though, so I knew I could only get better. And it was so nice to be with my family. Although I would like to thanks Carbon County for screwing me over when it comes to taxes. Apparently I'm not good enough to claim as an employee so I had to file a 1099 and now owe the effing government money. See if I ever work for you again. Anyway, went home and managed to have a much better night's sleep.
Thursday-more tired than ever, but not feeling nauseated for once. Also woke up knowing what I have to do, even though I didn't want it to turn out this way. :( Managed to have a banana for breakfast, went to my morning lab and then went home. Managed to eat half a sandwhich for lunch, even though I was not feeling hungry. Had every intention of doing homework, but ended up sleeping because I had to work later. Work wasn't too bad, just hard because I've been feeling so weak. Got home, haven't felt hungry, and because it is so late, I opted for no dinner, decided to weigh myself again, just for kicks and discovered I'm now ten pounds down. I'm just glad I'm feeling better. What a week. The weekend better be better. Haha. And hopefully I get my appetite back. Or maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't.

Last but not least, I have made the decision to drop microbiology. It's been super hard, but I know it has to be done. I'm too sick to keep up, and I have other things that need just as much, if not more focus. At least now I know what to do next time I take it. I'm just afraid that it's really going to mess up my nursing schedule, that is if I even get in the program. For the first time I'm doubting if I'm really cut out for school, for a stupid career and life in general. I feel like I'm giving up and that's not what I want to do at all. I don't know. Everything happens for a reason, and I just trust that Heavenly Father knows more about what it going on than I do.

Thanks to everyone who helped me survive this week, specifically K-Dub, Rach, V2 and my family. It can only get better from here.

"It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end."

At the end of the day....

The end of the day is the hardest for me. I'm sitting home all alone, I usually can't sleep and my mind just goes a million miles an hour. Maybe this whole blogging thing will be something that I can use to occupy my mind. The only problem is that I'm usually such a private person about what is going on in my head because I'm pretty sure I fit in the catergory of crazy. haha. Anyway, work tonight was rough. I was only supposed to be there from four until eight (those of you who know what I do understand how draining my job is...), but some jerk on day shift decided that they couldn't come in tomorrow morning so us evening shifters have to save the day by coming in a five thirty tomorrow morning. ugh. long story short (too late), I had to stay til the end of shift (10pm) and I was not happy about it. And to top it all off, a walker was knocked over onto my foot and you would not believe how much it hurt. I half expected to see a massive bruise, but alas! no! Me being the beast I am now have a sore spot and nothing to show for it. :P I have so much homework to do and I'm working every day the rest of the weekend, so needless to say, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and the fact that I've been so emotional the past few days has not been helping at all. It kind of like having vertigo without having the physical sense that the world is spinning. It's just my thoughts in my head and they are spinning so fast that I can't catch them. Weird. Anyway, I know I will survive, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a flippin' obstacle course to get there.


On a more positive note, I had a very profound realization today. And to be quite honest, it is what has gotten me through the rest of my day. Whilst I was sitting in the reeve's computer lab today, comtemplating my microbiology paper topic, sitting next to one of my favorite people in the universe, I realized that some things never change. People come and go, our surroundings change, we as people change physically, experiences shape us into who we are, but there are those few constants in life that even though circumstances change, they never do. Some people in our lives are meant to be there. Some people are supposed to know and understand us better that we can know and understand ourselves. I don't know, it probably sounds silly, but after the emptiness I've been feeling for days, it was a ray of sunshine in my life.


Tomorrow is going to be a better day! It has a few challenges in it, but now that my mind feels a little clearer, I know I can face them head on and get done what I need to get done! Bring on the challege and the world! After a good night's sleep and a good workout first thing in the morning, I will be ready!


FN out!

What I've learned in my twenty years of life...

So I posted this on facebook the day before my twentieth birthday (February 14) and I felt it very profound. I was reading it today because it's been kind of a hard, emotional day just with everything going on. It made me feel a lot better and I just wanted to share. Enjoy all!

1. Life is completely unfair. It's the hardest thing in the world to watch hopes and dreams that you have for yourself be accomplished by someone else. But even if you don't think you're good enough, it's at least worth a shot. If you never even try then you may never know what you are capable of


2. You must love yourself before you can love others. God made you the way you are for a reason, and He does not make mistakes. Take what you have and run with it. You have the power to make yourself better, so decide and do something.


3. The performing arts-specifically music-is the most gratifying and powerful things we can experience. It takes us somewhere far beyond ourselves. It plays on emotions and portrays a message that words alone are not capable of getting across. Without music, life is meaningless.


4. Kicking your brother because he stole some of your nachos is not a good idea. You could end up on crutches because of it and really, it's just food. It's not like you didn't still have some on your plate.


5. Family is the most important. You only get one and they are the ones that you have forever. Friends come and go, but family is in it with you for the long run. Little brothers are supposed to be annoying, older brothers are supposed to torture you to an extent and no matter where you are in the world of in your life, you will always need mom and dad.


6. Heartbreak is the hardest thing you could ever go through. Whether it is losing loved ones, or being rejected by the one you love, it sucks everytime and doesn't tend to get easier.


7. Friends are abundant. Best friends are few and far between. They are a privilege, never take them for granted because you may never find another person like your best friend.


8. Just because people develop other relationships, it doesn't mean you have been replaced. You will always mean something to the people that you have managed to touch their hearts and their lives, but they have to let other people in as well. They know you are still there and always will be. When they need you, they will come back.


9. Making other people smile and taking care of people makes it all worth it. Knowing that we are needed keeps us human and lets us practice our compassion.


10. If someone will not let you be yourself or help you out as much as you are willing to help them, it isn't worth it. If they cannot accept you for who you are, they don't deserve the privilege of calling you a friend.


11. No matter how much you think you studied in high school, you still have to study a million times more in college. And once you have the material mastered, there is more material to be studied. It never ends.


12. Never succumb to the sadness. Happiness is a choice even if you don't have the brain chemicals to be "happy." You have the power to change your circumstances. You aren't doing anyone, especially yourself, any good if you do nothing but focus on the negative. Staying positive is key.


13. No matter how bad it gets, it could always be worse. Which is why it always starts raining in the movies.


14. There are many kinds of beautiful. And everyone has some beautiful qualities in their unique ways.


15. All boys are stupid. Yes, ALL.


16. We are never alone no matter how many mistakes we make. Someone will be there to help you reconcile your situation, but you must be willing to accept the help and recognize that sometimes you can't do it on your own.


17. Having passion is the only way to live life to the fullest. It teaches you how much you can truly care about people and the beautiful things in life.


18. Even though you aren't a teenager anymore, being twenty really is not that old. You still have your whole life to figure everything out and accomplish your goals. Focus on the present and enjoy every moment you have.


19. You are the only person that you spend your whole life with, so make sure you can live with the decisions you make. It shapes you into the person you become.


20. Everyday is a brand new opportunity to chage you. If you aren't happy with where you are in life, DO something about it. Don't just mope on what COULD be done. Take action.
    

A new adventure...

So I pretty much decided to start a blog because everyone is doing it, and it really bugged me that I couldn't post comments on everyone else's blogs, so here I am! Blogging away! So I guess for my first post, I should share a little bit about myself. I'm a sophmore at a two-year college in my hometown studying pre-nursing. I'm an ambassador and enjoy being involved in leadership as well as participating in the choir and band. I have four brothers, one older, three younger. I love my family and friends and just having a good time.
I don't really have any good stories to share for this first post, other than I really should be doing homework, but instead I am watching my favorite TV show and blogging. Whoops. Haha! Well, let's call that good for the first post shall we? I will post again when I have a good story to share. FN out!