WARNING: PESSIMISM AHEAD.
If you don't want to read negativity, stop now. You've been warned.
I just need to vent for a moment. I really hate that every time I've had a good couple of days, that I've been feeling really good, that I'm trying so hard to be positive, to improve and just do better, I crash and burn. EVERY TIME. Never fails.
The perfect analogy:
In the race of life, I'm a car at the starting line with all the other vehicles. The whistle blows, the flag is thrown and everyone takes off. Everyone but me. I'm sitting at the starting line, barely moving even though I'm pumping the gas and the engine is revving. There is something seriously wrong with my drive line.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
It's the final month of 2010.
It's December. The last month of 2010. Definently a time of reflection on the past year. But right now I want to focus more on looking at the future and improving. At the end of every year millions of people make a New Years Resolutions list. I usually join in on this exciting part of the new year, but this year I've decided to do things just a little bit differently. I've been inspired by several of my closest friends and my older brother in particular, to start a "bucket list" or list of things I want to accomplish in my life. This year I've decided I'm going to start a bucket list and just have it as a general goal to work towards the things on my list. A lot of the things on my list pertain to things I would say is a new years resolution anyway and I like having a bucket list. It's like all my dreams are on paper which gives me more inspiration to accomplish them. (Thanks to my good friend Sterling for inspiring me to write it down!) The list is already quite long, but here are a few examples:
I've already made a wonderful new friend who I adore and cannot wait to make more memories with! Lisha, you're amazing.
- Run a marathon
- Fall in love
- Become a licensed nurse
- Learn to cook
- Shake hands with the Prophet
- Visit all seven continents
And my personal favorite:
- Watch Daron tackle an emperor penguin.
Lately I've really been thinking about the fact that we only have one life. Live a little. I'm looking forward to what this new year will bring. New experiences, new friends, new passions, new reason to love being alive. Love who you are and love the people you're with!
I've already made a wonderful new friend who I adore and cannot wait to make more memories with! Lisha, you're amazing.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thanksgiving 2010
Thanksgiving this year was so fantastic. For the first time in my life, it was just my immeadiate family. I missed getting together with some of my distant relatives that I don't get to see very often, but this year, I really think this was what we needed. My older brother who lives in Salt Lake came down and stayed all week. I got to spend lots of time with him which meant a lot because I won't get to see him again until Christmas. Food, and family. Definently can't get any better than that.
My personal favorite part of Thanksgiving.... PIES of course!
My mom and I made so much pie! It was fantastic!
And my first plateful....DELICIOUS!! Pretty sure I gained about 20 pounds over the weekend...
This Thanksgiving was also a very emotional one. It was our first Thanksgiving without my Grandpa Grundvig and my Grandma was sick so she was unable to join us which made it that much harder. But really, it made me all the more thankful for the family I was able to spend time with. Especially my older brother. He's my best friend and I have a really hard time not being able to see him very often. It's so funny, you would think that a brother and sister 6 years apart wouldn't have much in common or have reason to fight. Daron and I constantly fought as children and we still tend to tease, but we're super close, especially since neither of us live at home anymore, which I am so grateful for.
I cannot believe how quickly this year has flown. I'm so grateful for all my blessings and the opportunity I had to share this holiday with the people I love the most.
My personal favorite part of Thanksgiving.... PIES of course!
My mom and I made so much pie! It was fantastic!
And my first plateful....DELICIOUS!! Pretty sure I gained about 20 pounds over the weekend...
This Thanksgiving was also a very emotional one. It was our first Thanksgiving without my Grandpa Grundvig and my Grandma was sick so she was unable to join us which made it that much harder. But really, it made me all the more thankful for the family I was able to spend time with. Especially my older brother. He's my best friend and I have a really hard time not being able to see him very often. It's so funny, you would think that a brother and sister 6 years apart wouldn't have much in common or have reason to fight. Daron and I constantly fought as children and we still tend to tease, but we're super close, especially since neither of us live at home anymore, which I am so grateful for.
I cannot believe how quickly this year has flown. I'm so grateful for all my blessings and the opportunity I had to share this holiday with the people I love the most.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Breaking Point
The questions of the week:
- Why do some people get such joy out of watching others suffer?
- Why can't we all just get along?
- Where do we draw the line and say we won't tolerate anymore?
- Why must we sometimes forsake our own gentle nature in self defense?
- Why do we try so hard to fit in with people who we should fit so well with?
- What do we have to do to get the point across that enough is enough?
I'm so tired of people who have no other other desire in life than to make things unnecissarly harder for other people, who are back stabbers, who are fake and who lie. I'm so tired of having to see selfish people neglect others who depend on them simply because they are lazy and do nothing but complain. Unfortunately I understand that no matter where I go or what I do there are going to be people like that. Someone has to ruin it for the whole group.
But there are also those people who are loving, kind and want nothing more than to give. Some people lift the whole group.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
You're Still an Innocent
"Innocent" by Taylor Swift
I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back
Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everybody believed in you?
It's all right, just wait and see,
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been.
You're still an innocent,
You're still an innocent.
There's some things you can't speak of
But at night you'll live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you would sing what you know now then
Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?
It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did.
You're still an innocent.
Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too
Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new
It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent.
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent.
You're still an innocent.
Lost your balance on a tightrope.
It's never too late to get it back.
The lines that stand out the most to me are "Lives change like the weather, I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new."
So true.
I guess you really did it this time
Left yourself in your warpath
Lost your balance on a tightrope
Lost your mind tryin' to get it back
Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?
Always a bigger bed to crawl into
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything
And everybody believed in you?
It's all right, just wait and see,
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been.
You're still an innocent,
You're still an innocent.
There's some things you can't speak of
But at night you'll live it all again
You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now
If only you would sing what you know now then
Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?
And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you
Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep
Before the monsters caught up to you?
It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights is still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did.
You're still an innocent.
Time turns flames to embers
You'll have new Septembers
Every one of us has messed up too
Lives change like the weather
I hope you remember
Today is never too late to be brand new
It's all right, just wait and see
Your string of lights are still bright to me
Oh, who you are is not where you've been
You're still an innocent.
It's okay, life is a tough crowd
32, and still growin' up now
Who you are is not what you did
You're still an innocent.
You're still an innocent.
Lost your balance on a tightrope.
It's never too late to get it back.
The lines that stand out the most to me are "Lives change like the weather, I hope you remember today is never too late to be brand new."
So true.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The Beauty of Music
Last night I had the wonderful opportunity to participate in my 8th consecutive performance with the Eastern Utah Wind Symphony. The performance was successful, was well-loved by the audience and I felt fully accomplished. I love being part of such a diverse and talented group of musicians that ranges from professionals to students. We work under an amazing conductor, Dr. Greg Benson, who never fails to impress. I am proud to call myself a band geek!
I am so thankful for my opportunities to further my musical knowledge while keeping my skills well polished and well rounded. Not only instrumental music, but all the performing arts are by far my favorite thing in the world. I'm constantly being awed, inspired, changed, and emotionally moved by participating in, and watching the arts. I love it with all my heart and I thank Heavenly Father every day for the talents and opportunites I have been given and that I have this great gift in my life. Music makes me feel more alive than I am capable of feeling any other time. I cannot put into words the love and passion I have for music.
I am so thankful for my opportunities to further my musical knowledge while keeping my skills well polished and well rounded. Not only instrumental music, but all the performing arts are by far my favorite thing in the world. I'm constantly being awed, inspired, changed, and emotionally moved by participating in, and watching the arts. I love it with all my heart and I thank Heavenly Father every day for the talents and opportunites I have been given and that I have this great gift in my life. Music makes me feel more alive than I am capable of feeling any other time. I cannot put into words the love and passion I have for music.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
In honor of our Veterans
Today is Veteran's day and my heart is very full. Both of my grandfathers served our country, my Grandpa Nelson served in the Army in the Korean War and my Grandpa Grundvig served in the Navy during World War II. I salute those who have the honor and courage to risk their lives for our country to preserve the freedoms that we all as United States citizens enjoy today. Love a Veteran and support our troops!
For wind symphony this sememster we are playing a song called "American Heroes" as part of our concert. I cannot help but tear up everytime I hear "Anchors Away." My grandpa, H. Levon Grundvig served in the Navy in WWII. Not only was he an American Hero, he was my hero and so beloved not only by my family, but everyone he knew. He touched so many lives and I miss him so much. Today it has been four months since he left this mortal life and it has not gotten any easier. My heart still aches and I wish more than anything I could hug him one more time. Thank goodness for the gospel and eternal families.
For wind symphony this sememster we are playing a song called "American Heroes" as part of our concert. I cannot help but tear up everytime I hear "Anchors Away." My grandpa, H. Levon Grundvig served in the Navy in WWII. Not only was he an American Hero, he was my hero and so beloved not only by my family, but everyone he knew. He touched so many lives and I miss him so much. Today it has been four months since he left this mortal life and it has not gotten any easier. My heart still aches and I wish more than anything I could hug him one more time. Thank goodness for the gospel and eternal families.
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