At the end of the day....

The end of the day is the hardest for me. I'm sitting home all alone, I usually can't sleep and my mind just goes a million miles an hour. Maybe this whole blogging thing will be something that I can use to occupy my mind. The only problem is that I'm usually such a private person about what is going on in my head because I'm pretty sure I fit in the catergory of crazy. haha. Anyway, work tonight was rough. I was only supposed to be there from four until eight (those of you who know what I do understand how draining my job is...), but some jerk on day shift decided that they couldn't come in tomorrow morning so us evening shifters have to save the day by coming in a five thirty tomorrow morning. ugh. long story short (too late), I had to stay til the end of shift (10pm) and I was not happy about it. And to top it all off, a walker was knocked over onto my foot and you would not believe how much it hurt. I half expected to see a massive bruise, but alas! no! Me being the beast I am now have a sore spot and nothing to show for it. :P I have so much homework to do and I'm working every day the rest of the weekend, so needless to say, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and the fact that I've been so emotional the past few days has not been helping at all. It kind of like having vertigo without having the physical sense that the world is spinning. It's just my thoughts in my head and they are spinning so fast that I can't catch them. Weird. Anyway, I know I will survive, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, it's just a flippin' obstacle course to get there.


On a more positive note, I had a very profound realization today. And to be quite honest, it is what has gotten me through the rest of my day. Whilst I was sitting in the reeve's computer lab today, comtemplating my microbiology paper topic, sitting next to one of my favorite people in the universe, I realized that some things never change. People come and go, our surroundings change, we as people change physically, experiences shape us into who we are, but there are those few constants in life that even though circumstances change, they never do. Some people in our lives are meant to be there. Some people are supposed to know and understand us better that we can know and understand ourselves. I don't know, it probably sounds silly, but after the emptiness I've been feeling for days, it was a ray of sunshine in my life.


Tomorrow is going to be a better day! It has a few challenges in it, but now that my mind feels a little clearer, I know I can face them head on and get done what I need to get done! Bring on the challege and the world! After a good night's sleep and a good workout first thing in the morning, I will be ready!


FN out!

What I've learned in my twenty years of life...

So I posted this on facebook the day before my twentieth birthday (February 14) and I felt it very profound. I was reading it today because it's been kind of a hard, emotional day just with everything going on. It made me feel a lot better and I just wanted to share. Enjoy all!

1. Life is completely unfair. It's the hardest thing in the world to watch hopes and dreams that you have for yourself be accomplished by someone else. But even if you don't think you're good enough, it's at least worth a shot. If you never even try then you may never know what you are capable of


2. You must love yourself before you can love others. God made you the way you are for a reason, and He does not make mistakes. Take what you have and run with it. You have the power to make yourself better, so decide and do something.


3. The performing arts-specifically music-is the most gratifying and powerful things we can experience. It takes us somewhere far beyond ourselves. It plays on emotions and portrays a message that words alone are not capable of getting across. Without music, life is meaningless.


4. Kicking your brother because he stole some of your nachos is not a good idea. You could end up on crutches because of it and really, it's just food. It's not like you didn't still have some on your plate.


5. Family is the most important. You only get one and they are the ones that you have forever. Friends come and go, but family is in it with you for the long run. Little brothers are supposed to be annoying, older brothers are supposed to torture you to an extent and no matter where you are in the world of in your life, you will always need mom and dad.


6. Heartbreak is the hardest thing you could ever go through. Whether it is losing loved ones, or being rejected by the one you love, it sucks everytime and doesn't tend to get easier.


7. Friends are abundant. Best friends are few and far between. They are a privilege, never take them for granted because you may never find another person like your best friend.


8. Just because people develop other relationships, it doesn't mean you have been replaced. You will always mean something to the people that you have managed to touch their hearts and their lives, but they have to let other people in as well. They know you are still there and always will be. When they need you, they will come back.


9. Making other people smile and taking care of people makes it all worth it. Knowing that we are needed keeps us human and lets us practice our compassion.


10. If someone will not let you be yourself or help you out as much as you are willing to help them, it isn't worth it. If they cannot accept you for who you are, they don't deserve the privilege of calling you a friend.


11. No matter how much you think you studied in high school, you still have to study a million times more in college. And once you have the material mastered, there is more material to be studied. It never ends.


12. Never succumb to the sadness. Happiness is a choice even if you don't have the brain chemicals to be "happy." You have the power to change your circumstances. You aren't doing anyone, especially yourself, any good if you do nothing but focus on the negative. Staying positive is key.


13. No matter how bad it gets, it could always be worse. Which is why it always starts raining in the movies.


14. There are many kinds of beautiful. And everyone has some beautiful qualities in their unique ways.


15. All boys are stupid. Yes, ALL.


16. We are never alone no matter how many mistakes we make. Someone will be there to help you reconcile your situation, but you must be willing to accept the help and recognize that sometimes you can't do it on your own.


17. Having passion is the only way to live life to the fullest. It teaches you how much you can truly care about people and the beautiful things in life.


18. Even though you aren't a teenager anymore, being twenty really is not that old. You still have your whole life to figure everything out and accomplish your goals. Focus on the present and enjoy every moment you have.


19. You are the only person that you spend your whole life with, so make sure you can live with the decisions you make. It shapes you into the person you become.


20. Everyday is a brand new opportunity to chage you. If you aren't happy with where you are in life, DO something about it. Don't just mope on what COULD be done. Take action.
    

A new adventure...

So I pretty much decided to start a blog because everyone is doing it, and it really bugged me that I couldn't post comments on everyone else's blogs, so here I am! Blogging away! So I guess for my first post, I should share a little bit about myself. I'm a sophmore at a two-year college in my hometown studying pre-nursing. I'm an ambassador and enjoy being involved in leadership as well as participating in the choir and band. I have four brothers, one older, three younger. I love my family and friends and just having a good time.
I don't really have any good stories to share for this first post, other than I really should be doing homework, but instead I am watching my favorite TV show and blogging. Whoops. Haha! Well, let's call that good for the first post shall we? I will post again when I have a good story to share. FN out!