Day 9

Day 9 - Something I am proud of.

This one was a piece of cake. Of course it was going to be something musical. But here's a little known fact about my musical abilities: I love to sing and I love to play the piano and those are the talents that I share the most and in all reality are what people are most commonly looking for. But playing the flute is what I am best at, what I love more than life itself and what I truly get the most satisfaction out of doing. It's what I have worked the hardest at in my life and I'm sure that is why it has become the most important and cherished. I've mastered some very difficult pieces and I plan to play forever. It's on my bucket list to go back to school after I get my nursing degree and get a bachelor's in flute performance. I would like to play with a professional group someday and eventually teach flute lessons. There is nothing better in this life than music.

Day 8

Day 8 - A song to match my mood. So there will be no judgements for this post. I'm not really a Beiber fan, but I really like the message of this song and the last few days I've just been feeling so motivated and inspired that Justin Beiber's song 'Never say Never' really does match my mood. See I never thought that I could walk through fire I never thought that I could take the burn I never had the strength to take it higher Until I reached the point of no return And there's just no turning back When your hearts under attack Gonna give everything I have It's my destiny I will never say never! (I will fight) I will fight til forever! (make it right) Whenever you knock me down I will not stay on the ground Pick it up Pick it up Pick it up Pick it up up up And never say never Ne-Never say never(Never) Ne-Never say never(Never) Ne-Never say never(Never) I never thought I could feel this power I never thought that I could feel this free I'm strong enough to climb the highest tower And I'm fast enough to run across the sea PS - Blogger is being stupid and won't let me post the lyrics like a regular song and I'm sick of trying to fix it.

Day 7

Day 7 - My dream wedding. So I have been dreading this post... I'm not the typical girl. I have honestly never even thought about what my wedding will look like and that is mostly because I have never thought that I was going to have a wedding. But, I don't necessarily believe that anymore. My grandpa had a talk with me before he passed away assuring me that it's all about timing, and he knows I just haven't met the right person yet. Basically my dream wedding is me marrying the love of my life. Nothing else matters. The end.

Another challenge...

So I've been doing a lot of thinking and self discovery lately. I've really been struggling with how unhappy I've been and the fact that I have been having such a hard time changing that or doing anything about it. Well, I'm coming on the upside of the roller coaster of life after being stuck on the bottom for so long and I'm going to take advantage of it!!

1) I am so behind in a few of my classes, but I'm working really hard to catch up and not fall any further behind than I already am. At least I'm still doing well in Micro and there is still hope for stats. Anatomy, good thing I already have a half decent grade from the last time I took you... but 3rd time is going to be the charm this summer! I'm smart and I will have a GPA that reflects that.

2) Even if I can't feel good emotionally, I NEED to feel better physically. I may not have been able to acheive my goal last fall of running in a 5k because other things came up, but that is no excuse for me falling off the band wagon as bad as I have. I'm going to lose 20 pounds by the time I graduate in May (yes it is healthily possible, I calculated it out.) and 50 by the end of the summer. I've already signed up for a 10k to run with my cousins in August so the pressure is on!! I worked out this morning for an hour and it hurts so good!!!

3) I'm going to be completely on my own financially come August because I'm moving 3 1/2 hours away from Mommy and Daddy. It's time to do some financial planning.

Let's pray the enthusiasm stays for at least a little while! I have done really good today in every aspect of my goal and I'm celebrating the small victories! YAY FOR TODAY! Plus I look super cute today if I do say so myself...

Day 6

Day 6 - A photo of an animal I'd love to keep as a pet.

I absolutely LOVE animals!! My family always had pets growing up and I plan to continue the tradition. I'm the type of person that constantly needs companionship and affection and animals are fantastic to fill that void since I am single. I am definetly more of a dog person. And I really prefer big dogs. I like cats and wouldn't having one but I want a dog so bad! We had the most amazing beautiful dog when I was growing up and she died when I was 15. I've been begging my parents to get another dog since then for my brothers but they're still a little young. Anyway, for myself, it is on my bucket list that I will one day own a wolf-hybrid. Wolves are my all time favorite animal. I think they are beautiful, loving, intelligent creatures and I want one!!

And I also want a great dane. They are gentle giants who think they are lap dogs, loyal, and loving. One day when I have the time and money to take care of them, I'm going to have dogs!

Day 5

Day 5 - A photo of me from two years ago. I pathetically had a super hard time finding a decent picture of me from two years ago. I really have not changed all that much physically. I do my make-up a little differently, my hair is shorter and I've gained a little weight, but all the change has been on the inside. I've grown up SOO much in the past two years. PS - I chose these pictures because my cat, kitters, is just so cute! And that one of me and my mom is one of my favorites!

Day 4

Day 4 - my favorite picture of my best friend.

I have been blessed with several best friends so bear with me a bit.

My older brother Daron. He is so much more than a brother though, he's my best friend.

Kelton and Rachel, couldn't ask for better than these two!

Carrie and Nessa, my two rocks. I sure do miss them...

Katherine and Whitney. Ambassadors was the best thing that ever happened because of these two.

Lisha Lynn, probably the fastest best friend I ever made and I look forward to our life-long friendship and shared laughs!

Sterling and Michael, just can't get enough of these two! Not only do they accept me for who I am, but they make me feel beautiful.

LOVE YOU ALL!

The verdict for next school year...

Yes, two posts within twenty minutes of each other but who cares! I'm so happy right now I could practically burst! Today has been fantastic!

So lately I have been so anxious about what is going to happen next school year. I had finally realized that I need to be in Cedar City attending Southern Utah University next year getting ready to continue my journey to become a licensed nurse. I was so nervous about it though because the people that I'm closest to are all going to schools in the northern part of the state. The closest ones to me would still be about 5 hours away and that scares me. Not because I doubt our friendships, because I douby my own ability to make new friends and fit in. Yes, I have people down there that I know would be there for me and help me fit in (love you V2!) but I'm so terrified of falling in between the cracks. So I started looking for private housing because I just didn't want to have to go through moving in with people I didn't know etc, but everything started to fall into place today. While at breakfast with my bestie Rach, I was informed that she has officially decided to attend SUU with me! And the more we talked and planned, the more obvious it became that we are just going to have to room together. It just makes sense and feels right. My future is looking very bright right now and I'm looking forward to a fresh start with new and old friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm still scared out of my pants about everything and most of all my current favorite people that I won't be in the same town with anymore, but I'm so ready for the next chapter to begin.

Day 3

Day 3 - The Perfect First Date

Basically my idea of a perfect first date is anything that will allow us to get to know each other. Take me to something that you have a love for. If you like music, let's go to a concert. If you like movies, let's go to one we're both familiar with and discuss it. If you like books, let's go to an old book store and browse. If you like hunting, teach me how to shoot a gun. If you like food, take me to your favorite resturaunt or let's make your favorite dish together. If you like fishing, teach me how to fish. If you like outdoors, take me on a hike. I'm so easy to please that really, a date period would be a nice change for me! Really, I love getting to know people and hearing their stories. The perfect first date for me, just let me get to know you and get to know me a little.

Day 2

Day 2 - My job.

I work as a CNA. Now before you go along judging me as a 'butt-wiper' let me explain a little bit. I work in an assisted living home for the elderly. I've worked in the same assisted living home for almost two years now. Hear me loud and clear right now: I LOVE MY JOB!

I took the CNA course and got my certification because I wanted to make absolutely sure that nursing was indeed the field I wanted to go into. The first few weeks on the floor were hard. I didn't know exactly what I was getting myself into nor all the work, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, that it would involve. It has taught me the most important lesson of my life though. I am meant to take care of my fellow human beings. It's not just butt-wiping, even though that is included. I wipe tears off of wrinkled faces, I clean the long worked hands of a mother, father, uncle, aunt and friend, and I help relieve those that are in pain, physical and emotional. It's taking care of someone who has lived their life, is close to the end and just can't take full care of themselves anymore. So I pick up the slack. I get to hear life stories of these amazing people everyday. A lot of them have no family so I am the only smiling face they see, the only person they get to talk to and the only one who cares for them. I know those people better than anyone and they know that I care for them because I give them good care. I take the time to get to know them and I have become a familiar face. I have gained a love for the elderly and a love for people in general. Even though some of them are so much harder to care for than others, I love them and it is so satisfying to go home at the end of my shift knowing I made a difference to at least one of my residents. I plan to make a difference in people's lives for as long as I live, CNA work is only the beginning.

The 30 Day Blog Challenge - DAY 1

So everyone is doing the 30 day blog challenge and I'm feeling a little left out. I thought about being the odd one out and not doing it, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it and I figure some people might actually LIKE reading about my life. As if, haha! So what the heck! For your reading pleasere: Day 1 - A picture of me and a description of my day so far.






This picture of me is one of my favorites and that is because my mom absolutly adores it. I know that my mom loves me no matter what, but it still means something to hear her call me beautiful.

My day so far. In a word: Crap. The past few months have been a stuggle for me and today is no exception. I feel like I'm draggin myself through every single day, not really getting anything accomplished, not doing as well as I could, and certainly not doing what I want to be doing. I don't know how to explain to people so they will understand the challenge that has been placed before me that I have been battling for years. Some days are easier that others, but today has not been very easy. Bed was so much more appealing than my first two classes and even my test this afternoon. Whoops. But what did make my day was a surprise package containing a much needed brand new pair of fantastic sneakers! Thanks Kelty! But the good feelings never last very long and the feelings of doubt and discouragement soon invade. Thank goodness I still have wind symphony tonight and that will be my saving grace for today.

What a happy post! K, bye!

Lost, and then found.

It has been far too long since I did a blog posting. I slacked because I was trying really hard to keep up in my personal journal so I just didn't have as much time to post, but now I've fallen behind in that, but a few things have happened that I really just feel like sharing with the world. I feel like I have grown so much over the past few days. It's so weird. I had some new experiences that I really feel have changed me as a person overall. Even though I may not have made the best decisions over the weekend, the more I think about it, the more I'm realizing that everything, EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I was supposed to screw up. I'm supposed to make mistakes because that is how we learn and grow. And right now I have realized a few things. Most importantly for me: I've learned that even though I'm not perfect, I see myself a lot differently than everyone else does. Just because sometimes I really do not like what I see in the mirror, that doesn't mean everyone else sees me that way too. I am beautiful in my own way and I can be loved and desired even though I may not have the ideal build, the most perfect physique or anything else. I think I'm finally beginning to accept myself and I've finally realized that I can accept how I am. I'm finally beginning to be able to love myself and that is worth the biggest mistakes in the world.

The other thing I have realized recently is the power of communication and remembering that there are a few people in this world that love me so much, they don't care how many mistakes I make or what I do. Of course they are concerned and can be disappointed, but they LOVE ME. They will never abandon me and that is so powerful. I am so lucky and so blessed to have several of those people in my life. A few in particular I would like to shout out to.



Kelton K. Wells, thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for knowing me so much better than I know myself, and better than anyone else in this world and loving me for who I am. I don't know how I got so lucky to have you in my life. You've made such a huge impact on me and I cannot put into words how beautiful our relationship is. Yes we have our ups and downs, but we always work through them. I love you so much and am so grateful for everything you've done for me. You are my white knight.



Rachel Michelle Ryan, you have changed my life in more ways than I thought one person could. I love you so much. You have taught me more in the last three years about people, love, loyalty, and friendship than I could have ever learned on my own. I look forward to our lifelong friendship and the fun we are going to have. You are such an amazing individual and are one of the most genuine, beautiful and loving people I have ever had the pleasure of interacting with.



Lisha Lynn Michele, I feel as though we have been friends forever and yet, we have only been friends a short time. You are such an amazing person and I love that you can accept me for who I am, screw-ups and all. You have taught me to love myself despite my imperfections and that means so much to me. You are such an amazing person and I love you so much.

Sterling Kade Anderson, I have known and loved you for years and I am so glad that we have gotten so close again recently. We've been through a lot and I'm so grateful we're such good friends. You have shown me that people are so much deeper than you think until you truly get to know them. I love that you accept me for who I am. You make me feel beautiful and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that.

Michael Scott Johnson, I remember the first time I saw you was in the very first play CEU's Theatre Department performed during the fall 2008 semester and I instantly had a crush on you. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I've had to get to know you and I absolutely love the fact that we are such good friends now. You're always inspiring me to think outside of the box and introducing me to things I had never even thought of before. I love that you pretty much know all my secrets and insecurities and you help me to rise above them. Thank you so much for being who you are and loving me for who I am. I love you so much.

You have all touched my life in ways that will stay with me forever. I love us and I love the wonderful times we have shared and have yet to share. This post is to us, inspiration, realization, acceptance, beauty, growth and love. I hope I can hang onto these feelings forever because right now, life is wonderful.