I don't understand

So it has been more than a month since I have had the time to post a blog. Far too long. I feel like so much has happened, and yet when I try to write it all down, it seems like not very much at all. Maybe it's just all in my head...Basically I have been waiting for the time to write this huge epic blog about my huge epic spring break trip with two of my besties. It's been sitting in my drafts since the day after we got home and I am going to finish it this weekend dang it!!
On another note, I have felt the need to sit down and write out some feelings I have been having, especially this past week. It seems like I always have extreme emotional weeks, good and bad, with a lot of variety. This week has been a week of deep thinking and wondering what the heck I am going to do with my life. Mostly I've been freaking out because I am still waiting to hear from the nursing program. It's been almost two months since I submitted my application and I'm not very patient. When I submitted, I felt confident that I would get in without a problem. Now I've had way too much time to stew over it and I'm not so sure anymore. And suddently I've been approached by two very close and trusted individuals in the very recent few days asking me to move away from Price with them if I don't get into nursing school this next year, to experience something new and just work for awhile. I must say the idea of moving away is very exciting and appealing, but I don't know if I'm ready to uproot myself from my hometown just yet. Another option that has been brought to my attention, and I'm taking steps to accomplish. I'm applying for several student government positions for next year to help occupy my time if I should decide to stay and go to school next year if nursing is denied me. The third option scares me the most. Actually getting into the nursing program. It's so rigorous and heaven knows I lack a lot of self discipline needed to get through it.
I feel like I'm at a point in my life that I stand alone. No one can help me make the next few decisions I make in life except for the higher power, and it's going to affect everything. I feel like my world is in shambles simply because I could go any different path in the next three months and I don't know which one is right. It's times like this that I miss more than ever the one person who loves me no matter what, is totally non-judgmental of my weaknesses, and is willing to let me cry on her shoulder in my worst moments. My mom. It's hard to accept that she can't help me make my decisions anymore. She can listen, offer advice, but ultimately, it's up to me.